Dear Mum, Snap out of it!

Dear Mum,

Snap out of it. Stop quitting, stop with the excuses, make some changes. It's up to you, nobody else is going to do it for you.

Honestly, today I could have slapped you. It's almost like you want to be disabled, so that you have an excuse to mope around and do nothing, so that you can expect everyone else to do everything for you.

You have an alzheimers diagnosis, I get that, you are depressed (even though you wouldn't want to admit it or face it), I get that. You have back pain, and foot pain, I get it. It sucks, it's really hard, it's torturous. But this is your life. Is that the only fight you have left? If you are giving up now, what's stopping you from topping yourself? If this is all that life has for you, you may as well end it now, because it's no life.

You went to get x-rays on your feet because you can't stand up long enough to do the dishes. They told you that you have stage 3 plantofaaciitis (sp?). So what do you say, a plethora of excuses as to why you can't wear orthotics because you don't want to wear sneakers every day? What? Your days of stillettos are long gone? You don't want cortisone injections because they are painful? Any less painful than the constant pain you are in at the moment? Honestly, you can barely walk at the moment, you shuffle around like a 90 year old and you don't want to try to fix what is a relatively simple, basic problem? If you don't want to fix your feet, get a damn wheel chair, and see how that goes for your back problems?

It makes me so angry when you want everyone to drown along with you, and your sinking ship. Sometimes I wish you would leave dad or he would leave you, just so you were forced to take some responsibility for your happiness instead of just accepting that life is over and sitting around waiting for a hearse to come pick you up.

If I were you, I'd be leaving, I'd be taking my half of the empire you have built as a couple, and blowing it on a big time fun filled couple of years. Find out who you really are and what really makes you happy while you have a chance, 1 year of freedom is better than a lifetime of compliance. Who knows what the future holds. Chances are, for you, the future holds a locked up nursing home, decades of demented torture, so make the most of now, and screw the future. Screw saving for a rainy day, open the blinds and have a look, you will soon see, it's torrential out there right now.

I hate watching you drown. But what can I do? You won't do a thing to help yourself, I can't save you, if you are just going to drown me.