It's very difficult for elderly or ill people to be humble enough to accept that their children might know better than them. And the children are so arrogant (including myself) to think that we know best, and the solutions are simple and obvious.
Vicious circle.
At some point, as frustrating as it is, we children have to step back and let the inevitable happen and stop trying to control it. It's hard, virtually impossible to stand by idly and watch, at the ready to offer help and support when (and if) they are prepared to accept it.
I hear a lot of stories of children and partners with ill and ageing loved ones, getting so stressed about the natural progression (myself included).
When people are in their end stages and stop eating, it's natural, but we can't accept it, when they sleep all day, we can't accept it, but it's natural. when they die, we can't accept it, but it's natural. We want them to take a pill or go to a specialist to fix it, but it's not always possible or even worthwhile. We want to blame partners, family, doctors, nurses, carers for every little thing, but they can't live forever, they will have accidents, they will fall, they will deteriorate.
This is how it feels for me, right now as a 36 year old with small children and a menagerie parents and grandparents, getting older and more ill. It seems like aging, is the whole life story in reverse.
In comparison it's easy to let your kids grow up. Every year, they are more capable, smarter, able to do more, bigger, faster, stronger, better than the year before. So it's natural to let go control slowly until they look after themselves. Unfortunately, it doesn't feel so natural the other way round, slowly relinquishing control and admitting that you are getting less and less cabable, less fast, less strong, less able, than the year before.
Sounds easy on paper, not so much in real life.
