Thursday 27 March 2014

This week I have felt quite envious

It feels terrible to say it, and fills me with all kinds of guilt, but someone I know lost their mum this past week to cancer.  I felt somewhat envious.  It was about 8 weeks between diagnosis and death.  It was a whirlwind (or should I say tornado) of events for the family in those 8 weeks from diagnosis, 100% dietary changes, to surgery, a pretty bad prognosis, then a whilrwind trip to Mexico to have an alternative therapy, back home again, preparing for chemo, and then she sadly passed away before she could have the chemo.

It's terribly sad that someone with so much energy, fight, and passion for life was taken away so quickly. But at the same time, it wasn't a long and torturous death, it didn't drag the family through years (or decades) of pain and emotional turmoil.  The fight was over almost as quickly as it began.

That's all I have to say.  I know it sounds wrong on so many different levels, but I guess if I were to have a choice, I'd choose a quick death over a slow death any day.  I've said it before, and no doubt I'll say it many times again, that in my mum's scenario, cancer would be the silver lining, the easy (easier?) out.

Wednesday 19 March 2014

Is it really Alzheimers?

Mum and Dad went to see the neuro psych who discharged her last year as he was no longer working at that particular hospital. Mum, decided that she wanted to see him again, and so they tracked him down and made an appointment.

They came over after the appointment and told me that it was a great appointment, he was really good today, that his question to them was "Is it really Alzheimers?" I asked what was that based on, mini mentals tests etc? Yes. Apparently he done a different type of mini mental type test, and the result wasn't that great. But for some reason he feels that it may not really be Alzhiemers.

He is trying her on a new Parkinsons's patch which apparently they've had some success with dealing with the "pain" issue. And if she can cope with the side effects of that, he might be able to take her off some of the narcotic pain killers. Which my Dad is all for, he hates how much medication she is taking, and is very anti-drugs.

I've never liked this Dr, he has no people skills as far as I'm concerned. And it seems that the one appointment I didn't go to, he's come up with some ground breaking hypothesis. I hope he's right, but I doubt it. If it's not alzheimers, she has some very very serious mental conditions going on. They have another appointment today, with her usual very good geriatrician. I have to work, so won't be able to attend. The joys of returning to work 6 days a week now my kids are in school.

I don't think it's a very professional thing to do to put a big question like that out there to someone with Alzheimers. If she does have Alzheimer's, it's false hope, setting her up for yet another massive kick in the guts when she is re-told that unfortuntely, all hope is lost, yet again, the initial double diagnosis of Alzheimer's and Parkinson's still stands. Honestly? Can you not do A LOT more searching and diagnosing and testing than one quick appointment to try and come to those kinds of conclusions? Can you not think of the mental chaos that would throw you into as a family?

Mum would be celebrating in her mind, yay, it's not Alzheimer's, jackpot. But then to be told again that it is later, will break her shattered heart into a thousand more pieces.

That after everything else, would be horrible for her. And if that's the case that she has to be re-diagnosed, re-told the bad news, and then in a few months her birthday comes up and she'll likely lose her licence again, after having it taken away, then given back already once before... No wonder the poor woman is an emotional wreck, She's been on the never ending roller coaster.

I'd love to be positive and hopeful for her, and I hope it's true, but in this doctor, I simply have no faith. I'll wait and hear what the geriatrician with a sense of logic and good people skills has to say about it. I at least have faith in her and will listen to her opinion before getting even a little bit hopeful. I know he's a neuro psych, and he's probably very smart, but it takes alot more than academics to make a good doctor, some of them should never be put into the ring with actual patients to toy with their emotions and lives.